Like, totally awesome

You know what's fun? Roller skating.

You know what's more fun than merely roller skating? Roller skating after midnight, in the wood-floored auditorium normally used for orchestra concerts (and fashion shows, since I go the school I go to, but still; it's at school, see). And to ramp up the fun to stupid levels, what you do is you rent 300 pairs of skates, you hang a disco ball in the rafters, and you have 80s music blaring.

Then, since I go to the school I go to, what happens is the kids get all dressed up like crazy rolling ravers. Sugary snacks were provided, so at any given time about a quarter of the people on the floor were sporting pacifier-style suckers with big red plastic lips on the outside. We had ice princess skirts, we had roller derby people of many genders, we had one dude dressed like a mountain goat, we had a woman who wore bloomers and a camisole with the face and boobs of an inflatable doll pasted on the appropriate places of the outfit. And we had me, looking completely normal but being one of the few if not the only one who ever went roller skating like that, as a suburban youth, when the music was current.

What's different now, as opposed to when I was 14? Well, for one, I watched the Suns beat the crap out of the Lakers at the campus pub before I went over, and had a nice four-beer buzz on, so I was more fluid and relaxed -- and that turns out to be quite handy when you're negotiating a crowd of skaters that's 30% better than you, 40% as good as you, and 30% much, much worse. Like the man said: you fall three times, you get up four. That was me. But three falls in three hours ain't bad.

Other than that, it was exactly the same as 7th grade: say hi to some friends, but generally keep moving. Get the hell off the floor to show the DJ my disdain for Meat Loaf, and get out there for the Duran Duran and the Van Halen. Totally not get any much attention from the ladies. (Which of course is more than okay these days.)

The college's irony switch was on the fritz that night, so I couldn't tell who was making fun of skating and who was just skating. Several people might have had actual, non-snarky fun. Someone I know was shouting at a friend at intervals, as he came around the oval each time:

"Admit that you're skating!"

Exactly.